Tim, Southern California, USA

What's the obstacle that would have prevented you from investing in coaching?

The cost. I knew that I had done some research on the Nice Guy stuff, I was fairly certain that I fit the description, and I was feeling like I needed to do something about it so I reached out to Jason. For me, it’s been completely worth it. I thought the cost was reasonable and the value that I got out of it was more than worth it.

What did you find as a result of investing in coaching with me?

I thought it was really useful to step back and look at how I’m reading things, how I’m reacting to things, how I’m responding to things, and then have someone call me out on my bullshit. I didn’t realize how much I needed that. We’ve worked through relationship stuff; we’ve worked through work stuff and being able to look at situations differently while practicing non-judgment. I found it incredibly useful to be able to look at things objectively, feel what I need to feel, and let it roll by knowing that that doesn’t have to drive how I respond. I feel like I’m putting aspects of what we’ve talked about into practice every day.

What specific feature did you like most about my coaching process?

The coaching sessions. I thought that the Google Docs stuff was good, too, and some back and forth, but the sessions were great. I would be trying to articulate something that I was frustrated with and you would stop me to point out what I was really saying, what I was getting myself unnecessarily worked up about. I didn’t realize how much I needed someone to call me out on my BS.

What were three other benefits from working with me?

I feel like my marriage is in a much better spot. A lot of the tension that I felt was in place when I started working with you is almost gone. I’ve seen how much I’ve contributed to this tension, walking around with covert contracts and resentment. It’s something I’ll probably have to work on the rest of my life, but I feel like struggles and challenges in my relationship have not completely gone away, but have improved significantly.

As far as work, I’m working on being more assertive. I remember a session where I was telling you that I was afraid to speak up because I didn’t know the answer or I was afraid I’d look stupid. You pointed out to me that I wasn’t doing my job. It was my role to make sure that we are putting out a quality product and I needed to make sure that I was adding value and making sure that the developers and whatnot are keeping that in mind. That wake-up call for me was very helpful.

The third thing is more general in that I need to be intentional about things. Working on health, exercise, drinking less are all things that will make me a happier person. I’ve known that but I think that a lot of our conversations revolved around things like exercise is a great way to get in shape, but the value for me at this point in my life is reducing stress.

Would you recommend someone else work with me? Why?

If I came across a guy that I thought was suffering from Nice Guy Syndrome I would absolutely recommend you because of how much value I’ve gotten from it. I feel like I’m able to look at things a lot differently. Everybody brings their own crap to the table and you have to own your side of it.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?

I feel like I’ve gotten more than my money’s worth out of this.